Recently, I sat down to pray and was confronted with a quiet but unsettling thought: My prayers aren’t big enough.

At first, I wondered what that meant. Did “big” mean asking for more money? More influence? Greater impact? World peace? Bigger platforms? Larger outcomes? Was I simply playing it too small?

Yet as I continued to sit with the question, something deeper began to surface. My prayers were not small because of what I was asking for. They were small because of how I was relating to God.

If I was honest, many of my prayers were outcome-focused. I was asking God to move on my behalf—to open doors, resolve situations, provide clarity, and make things work. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with praying that way. In fact, most of us approach God like this. We bring our needs, our desires, and our hopes. Scripture invites us to do so.

But what if God desires more for us than a prayer life centered primarily on outcomes?

Jesus says in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.”

That is not a statement about incompetence; it is an invitation into dependence.

In other words, perhaps prayer is not primarily about getting what we need, but about becoming people who remain deeply connected to Him.

Over time, I began to see that prayer reveals what we truly believe about God and about ourselves. It is easy to ask for comfort, stability, influence, opportunity, and relief. And in that process, prayer can subtly shift from dependence on God to self-improvement with God’s assistance.

And that is where the tension lies.

Faith was never meant to make us independent from Him; it was meant to anchor us in Him.

There is also a profound difference between maturity and independence. Spiritual maturity does not mean we need God less. Rather, it means we recognize our need for Him more clearly. It deepens trust. It strengthens surrender. It keeps us connected.

Independence says, “Help me get strong enough to handle this on my own.”
Faith or spiritual maturity says, “Lead me, sustain me, and shape me as I walk through this.”

At first glance, the two may look similar. Both involve growth. Both require effort. Yet anything we can sustain, build, or maintain without reliance on God may appear to be growth, while quietly becoming independence. And independence, even when it looks responsible or disciplined, is not the goal of the Christian life.

When we look at Jesus, the contrast becomes even clearer. He withdrew to pray. He sought the Father’s will. He did nothing apart from what He saw the Father doing. If the Son of God lived in continual dependence, then we should be cautious about interpreting autonomy as spiritual progress.

This stands in stark contrast to the rhythm of hustle culture. The Kingdom operates differently. It is not about mastering life through relentless effort; it is about partnership with God. He leads, and we respond. He directs, and we obey.

So as you reflect on your own prayer life, consider:

• Am I asking for control, or asking God to reveal His way?

• Am I pursuing comfort alone, or deeper connection with Him?

• Am I asking God to change my circumstances, or to teach me something about His nature and my own?

• Am I striving for self-sufficiency, or learning to remain dependent?

Ultimately, faith is not independence from Him. Rather, it is learning to live fully aware that we need Him, and choosing, again and again, to stay connected.